~What is a Birthday ?~

Emma Labrum, Age 7

"You have a birthday every year and you can be any age and you

start with being one second old.

Susan Curzon, Age 12

"Just think, if only you could snap your fingers on the birthday

you wanted and never grow any older. HUH! Birthdays won't

even let you do that because you've got so much arthritis your fingers

won't snap!

Take my advice and ignore birthdays, unless you want to end up old and

wrinkled.

Mark Scull, Age 11

"Birthdays are nice because you can fight your brother and he gets the

blame."

Steven McMullan, Age 11

"I always feel superior over people one year younger than myself, but if

someone is one year older than me, I feel small and look forward to when I

will be one year older, but everyone else seems to get one year older as

well.

Philip Brooke, Age 8

"When you have a birthday and you are middle aged your friends all clink

their glasses and cheer and it gives you a headache."

Alison, Age 10

"Grown-ups tend to have parties, not birthday parties because they hate

to admit their age. The next morning there tends to be a few hangovers

and the grown-ups sit in the kitchen staring at their breakfast as if it were

going to kill them, and one slight noise and you're shushed to be quiet."

David Lyne, Age 7

"My dad always gets money for his birthday. He's very rich and my Mom

takes it away from him."

Nicholas, Age 10

"About the birthday longest ago that I can remember is when I was 7 and

that wasn't very long ago. I got about fifteen presents then and everyone

loved me, now look at me. I used to have parties with lots of people

there, but now I can only invite a couple of friends over and we go to

McDonalds or somewhere.

Sara Parker, Age 11

"My grandmother's birthday is a birthday with presents but without

numbers."

Christopher Fuller, Age 11

"I think it's a good idea to celebrate our birthdate to keep track of how

old one is otherwise we would be in an awful mess."

Gregory Yeomans, Age 10

When it's my birthday I go bananas. Birthdays are the best they're crazy

crazy."

Zoltan Kovari, Age 9

"A birthday is happiness all the world over."

What Old or Middle Age is Like?

Clara McAlinden, Age 10

"I think the ideal age is seventeen because you will have finished school.

You could stay up late and watch horror films.

Merry Lomax, Age 9

"I think 19 will be my nicest age. Then I will be rich enough to own a

Jaguar, A Rolls Royce and a Mercedes."

Lowri Vernon Roberts, Age 10

"I would like to be about twenty-three because you are too young to

have a family and too old to be fussed over by relatives."

Mark Rose, Age 7

"When you get to be 22, your hand begins to shake and you can't cut

out sticky paper anymore."

Emma Newman, Age 7

"Middle age is when you pors (passed?) your driving test."

Daniel Lehane, Age 11

"Then we turn forty, by this time we lose half our strength and we start

to put on weight."

Patrick Gaughan, Age 8

"Your legs begin to ache and you feel you'll collapse when you are about

42.

Susanne Everitt, Age 9

"When old people are 50 years old they start getting crincals."

Mark Tychnoisky, Age 11

"The only disadvantage when you are 50 or over, the brain tissue gets

smaller and you start to become a litle screwy."

Erica Sabine, Age 10

"Sixty is quite a pleasant age because you have grandchildren to spoil and

buy things for. You would go on exotic journeys to Europe and the Orient.

You would have to be really cheerful though because you might die the

next day."

Norma Valentine, Age 10

"I would like to live till I'm 136 years old because I can be in the book of

records."

David Pollick, Age 7

"When you die you don't have birthdays."

Penny Sullings, Age 9

"I would like to tell you one more thing, the middle age always wins."

Jason Torrington, Age 9

"I like growing up because when you grow up you don't have to do what

your mother says."

Jaynie Hoffman, Age 10

"I want to be grown up because then I won't have to eat things that are

good for me all the time."

Gino Miele, Age 10

"The disadvantage of being old is not looking as good as you did when

you were young. It is like looking in a before and after picture but the

other way around."

Maxine Brown, Age 8

"When I started jogging I was three. But I can't jog so much now as I used

to." (Note: She's 8!)

Janet Smith, Age 13

"Year by year and day by day, I'm growing older and so I say;

I'm not as young as I'd like to be, But in this world, who is?"

Marianne Wales, Age 10

"Grown ups are like Big children, only they are bossier and they say they

are always right."

Scott Dusan, Age 10

"Middle age is when you start watching boring stuff like the news."

Kerstie Dent, Age 11

"Most grown-ups get married, have children and then get deforced and

get married again.

Agnes Ring, Age 15

"The first sign of growing old is needing a pair of glasses, which reveals

the second and third signs, the first wrinkle and the first white hair. The

fourth sign is the thirtieth birthday."

Harcus Roy Copper, Age 10

"Sometimes my Dad tries to hide that he is getting older and older each

day, but he's not the world's best actor!"

Nigel Bosley, Age 10

"You don't rush about when you are old your knees creak and we can

here you coming."

Words, Advice & Encouragement from Kids for all Old People

Andrew Chambers, Age 13

"When they say you're over the hill, at least you can have some fun going

down the other side."

Helena Rodriquez, Age Unknown

"When I'm 92, I'll bore everyone by telling them how things cost nothing

when I was a little girl. I'll tell them about life before computers.

Clare Landsdown, Age 10

"My Nana is 50 but she's not grouchy though she plays with me. It's

about when you reach 70 you're grouchy."

Samuel Ross, Age 8

"When you are older you can swim better because booze makes you fat

and you will float better."

Dara O'Connell, Age 13

"Look on the bright side of being bald. At least you don't have to wash

your hair anymore."

Genevieve Wright, Age 10

"In a way it must be great to get old because you get an opportunity to

stay in bed all day."

Justin Walker, Age 10

"The first signs of growing old are eyes losing their innocence."

Karen Edwards, Age 10

"You do not have to use your brains so much because they are a bit

rusty."

Source: "Happy Birthday! You Poor Old Wreck.

By Helen Exley